Donnie, Donnie, Donnie. You have one job. Navigate this bus of about 300 million people safely for about 4-8 years. No need to drive it like you stole it. Just set the bitch on cruise control, avoid big bumps, and quietly get off when it’s your stop. So far, it’s felt more like a teenager … More Since You Asked: My Advice for the Donald
While I haven’t tried them all, I’ve tasted enough to know social media comes in lots of flavors. There’s Facebook, which, when not spying on you, is good at making you feel special. After all, you have 1,879 friends who like your kid pics and your food pics and would probably duck behind a Target … More It’s Not Me. It’s You, Twitter.
History is about to be made with the first meeting of the dictator of North Korea and the President of the United States in 65 years. Some high hopes are pinned on this. Not long ago they were beating their chests and trading insults. Dotard. Rocket Boy. But their attraction could not be denied any … More Donnie and Kim: A Forbidden Love Story
It can be used as almost every part of speech. There are shelves of medicines to help us with it. Crowds will stand closer to a bonfire than to people actually doing it. Think you know what I’m driving at? It’s a four-letter all star! But here’s one more clue to see if you’re right: … More Is This the True Gold Medalist of Four-Letter Words?
It could be a game show there are so many now. I can practically hear the studio announcer “Come on down! You can ruin other people’s lives and your career as the next contestant on Harass That Ass! If this doesn’t make any sense, you haven’t been paying attention to the news lately. See, there’s … More Who’ll Be Our Next Contestant?
With a few changes, the Internet can be your happy place again! … More Are You Part of the Cancer or Part of the Cure?
Good people of Haynestown, I didn’t think I’d ever have to do this, but the world has left me no choice. I can’t keep this buttoned up any longer, and evidently I’m not the only one since now another cable TV talking head is accused of sending lewd pics to co-workers. Will they ever learn? It … More Are D*ck Pics the New Dozen Roses?
In case it slipped your mind, Father’s Day is almost here. It snuck up on me too, and I’m a father! So if your dad is still alive or is one you actually want to celebrate with, there’s still time to pickup up something meaningful. Don’t wait until Sunday and show up with a gas … More Are You Turning Father’s Day into Groundhog Day?
I almost texted someone this morning. It was a little playful, kind of heartfelt, and bordered on sappy. But then I thought better of it. Why? Because a meme that rolled across my screen suggested it was a BAD idea. It had a photo of a rear view mirror and some shit about letting go … More Do You Speak Meme?
How is your Monday so far? Don’t answer yet. We’ll put a pin in that. When my kids get ready for school, I’m amazed how they move. If I could measure it, I’d bet glaciers move faster. And if I’m not standing over them reciting (shouting) the steps that each of them need to be … More Are You a Reason Why Mondays Suck?