haynestown

Atlanta. On my third bite of a Chick-Fil-A biscuit, the Bob Marley look-alike next to me struck up a conversation about politics. It went nothing like I thought it would.

“Man I don’t know what to do, come November,” he said. “Hillary’s crooked as hell. Trump’s a con man. Shiiiiit, might not even vote!”

“Yeah, it hasn’t lined up how I thought it would either,” I admitted. Then he got a call and our talk was over as fast as it started. But it got me thinking.

If I could write in a candidate, whose name would I scribble with the tiny little pencil? Forget about their real-life politics…if I could send a uHaul to pick up someone’s shit and drop it off at the White House, who’d be a good make-believe President?

Morgan Freeman.He taught me to read on The Electric Company, got out of Shawshank prison, and did a convincing job playing God in Bruce & Evan Almighty. POTUS should be a piece of cake.

Jason Bourne. Not Matt Damon, but Jason Bourne. Imagine a Prez who could kick asses, doesn’t need a translator, and drives the limo like the Duke boys in the General Lee. Yeeeee-hah!

Ellen. She’s just fun. I can almost hear her prank calling other heads of state on live TV. C-Span would never be the same and the State of the Union address would pull more viewers than the Super Bowl.

George Clooney. I’m man enough to say it. If any of these five have a Presidential face, he’s the one.  Of course, after all those Ocean movies, I wouldn’t trust him anywhere near the U.S. Mint.

Robby Novak. Robby who? You know, the Kid President. He’d have us singing kum-ba-yah faster than a Sunday school teacher, and then we’d give him a big hug. He’s one charming little dude, and if you can watch his videos without smiling, then call an ambulance because your cold-hearted ass must be dead.

So that’s my Fantasy Five. Who would be your #writein?