Write-in

Atlanta. On my third bite of a Chick-Fil-A biscuit, the Bob Marley look-alike next to me struck up a conversation about politics. It went nothing like I thought it would.

“Man I don’t know what to do, come November,” he said. “Hillary’s crooked as hell. Trump’s a con man. Shiiiiit, might not even vote!”

“Yeah, it hasn’t lined up how I thought it would either,” I admitted. Then he got a call and our talk was over as fast as it started. But it got me thinking.

If I could write in a candidate, whose name would I scribble with the tiny little pencil? Forget about their real-life politics…if I could send a uHaul to pick up someone’s shit and drop it off at the White House, who’d be a good make-believe President?

Morgan Fmorgan-freeman-godreeman.He taught me to read on The Electric Company, got out of Shawshank prison, and did a convincing job playing God in Bruce & Evan Almighty. POTUS should be a piece of cake.

Jason Bourne. Not Matt Damon, but Jason Bourne. ImagJason Bourneine a Prez who could kick asses, doesn’t need a translator, and drives the limo like the Duke boys in the General Lee. Yeeeee-hah!

Ellen. She’s juellenst fun. I can almost hear her prank calling other heads of state on live TV. C-Span would never be the same and the State of the Union address would pull more viewers than the Super Bowl.

George_ClooneyGeorge Clooney. I’m man enough to say it. If any of these five have a Presidential face, he’s the one.  Of course, after all those Ocean movies, I wouldn’t trust him anywhere near the U.S. Mint.

Robby Novak. Robby who? You know, the Kid PrezKid President. He’d have us singing kum-ba-yah faster than a Sunday school teacher, and then we’d give him a big hug. He’s one charming little dude, and if you can watch his videos without smiling, then call an ambulance because your cold-hearted ass must be dead.

So that’s my Fantasy Five. Who would be your #writein?


5 thoughts on “Write-in

  1. Personally, I believe we are doing this ‘election’ thing wrong. We need a ‘survivor ‘ style election. Send the candidates to an undisclosed location, throw in some extra competitors. A few veterians, teachers, and low income mothers of atleast 16 kids. We cast our phone votes each week. Just don’t model the compitition after ‘ Naked and Afraid ‘. Please.

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